Please welcome our first guest blogger!!!
I’d venture to say that most of you reading this do not know me. My name is Drew, and I am a daughter of the living God. There are a lot of other parts of who I am, “identities” that clamor over one another to be the first, the most important, the ONE. Wife to Brenden, mother to Nolan, my six-month old baby boy, sister, friend, teacher, counselor, ministry volunteer, knitter, reader...the list goes on and on. And though I’m often tempted to identify myself by one or all of those things that I do, and roles that I play, that is not who I am. That isn’t always how I’ve viewed myself, though.
For a long time, I identified myself as a provider - the provider - for our household. My husband, Brenden, decided right before we got married that he wanted to pursue a bachelor’s degree in percussion performance, putting him in school full-time for the following four years. That meant that I would be the sole provider of our finances. Surprisingly, my job as a teacher in the Chicago Public School system paid well enough that we were able to live comfortably and virtually worry-free.
Last year, that all changed. Due to some unforeseen circumstances (Brenden being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2013 leading him to withdraw from school, ministry opportunities opening up for us, me being overwhelmed with the demands of teaching/loving kids in a perpetually overcrowded school), we decided that I would make the transition to a stay-at-home wife and trust that the Lord, for the first time, would allow Brenden to provide for us financially. Two weeks after I finished up my last school year, we found out we were pregnant, and we felt the Lord confirming for us that it was the right decision for our family.
Leaving a well-paying job and the financial responsibility for our family was not easy, but I found the Lord taking me to Matthew 6:31-33 again and again: “Therefore, do not be anxious, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Brenden and I had a sense that the Lord was going to take us through a season of trusting Him to provide exactly what we needed, food to eat, water to drink, clothes to wear, and hopefully a roof over our heads and not much more than that. It seemed that the days of having more than we needed were in the rearview mirror.
This summer, we have found ourselves stretched even more in trusting that God would provide, even for the bare minimum of our financial needs. Brenden and I have felt called to leave our home church here in Chicago to be a part of a church plant somewhere in the country, so Brenden applied for the Harvest Bible Fellowship Training Center for Worship to be trained up as a worship leader/pastor. That meant that he’d need to stop working almost completely for the month of June, and cut back significantly through July and August to do the internship program and with a baby at home, I couldn’t find work to make up for the income we’d be losing.
Week after week, we felt overwhelmed by the bills that seemed to be piling up. God kept providing little by little, just what we NEEDED each day, but it was getting harder and harder to hope in His provision. Just when I felt like giving up hope, God showed up in abundance.
A good friend of mine had a baby girl three years ago, and when she was pregnant, I knit a baby blanket for her. To this day, that little girl carries that blanket around with her wherever she goes. So, when my friend found out she was pregnant with her second, a little boy, I couldn’t wait to surprise them with a knitted blanket for him, too! I found out they were going to do a Dr. Seuss themed nursery, which was perfect because I already had white and red yarn in my stash. I designed the blanket specifically around the amount of each color I had, knowing that there was not even an extra three or four dollars in our budget for another skein of yarn and got to work.
About a week later, my friend sent me a message requesting a blanket for their little boy and I was thrilled to know that they actually wanted what I was planning to surprise them with! Unfortunately, she was hoping I could make the blanket red, white, and teal. My heart sank - I wanted to bless them with exactly what they wanted, but knew I couldn’t buy any teal yarn. I didn’t have the heart to tell her no to the teal, so I told her I’d get to work on designing the blanket and hoped that I’d be able to figure something out before her little boy came.
A few days after that conversation, I was volunteering in our church’s summer day camp and a friend of mine walked into the lounge where we were eating lunch. She was carrying a plastic bag from Michaels full to the brim with...you’ll never believe it...TEAL YARN!
She said she had found it in a hallway and asked the elective leaders if one of them had misplaced it, but they all said it didn’t belong to them. The director of the camp, knowing that I love to knit, took it from my friend, handed it to me and said “Guess it’s yours!”
In that moment, God completely shattered anxiety and doubt in His provision. Yes, Matthew 6 promises that God will provide exactly what we NEED, but I didn’t have a right view of what it is that I needed. For months, really, I was stuck thinking about God’s provision of my basic physical needs - reading literally from that passage that God would give me food to eat, water to drink, and clothes to wear. I’d convinced myself that I shouldn’t expect more than that from Him.
However, when Lynda handed that bag of yarn to me, I understood that
what I really needed was a more complete understanding of what God provides to the children He so greatly loves.
I thought I needed food, water, clothes, and a roof over my head, and hoped for a skein of teal yarn to knit a baby blanket. But what I needed was a bag full of yarn to show me God not only provides for my physical needs, but also what I need to do the work He’s called me to do.
And he doesn’t give the bare minimum. He gives abundantly so we can give abundantly. I needed seven skeins of yarn instead of one to show me that there is never anything lacking with our God. He is not limited in any way and can provide miraculously for us as we seek to do His work and bring glory to His great name.
Brenden and I are still trusting the Lord day by day for His provision of what we physically need for ourselves - bills to be payed, food on the table, diapers for our boy, etc. - but we KNOW that He is also providing us with everything we need to extravagantly love those around us for His glory.
